The duties of children, imposed by parents, contribute to the development of such human qualities as responsibility, the ability to care, and independence.

Domestic hard work is the best method of cultivating many wonderful human qualities. There are no children who would not like to diligently help adults. You should never drive them or convince them not to interfere. Children's assistance is definitely recommended to be approved. The child’s household duties should be considered a kind of “occupational therapy”, which will help to successfully solve many problems, including the problem of developing perseverance, attentiveness, determination, and responsibility. When giving a child responsibilities, parental tolerance, condescension and support are certainly needed. Conversely, aggression and ridicule will completely discourage any desire to work hard.

Responsibilities for a child at home may include:

cleaning toys;

cleaning dishes in the dishwasher or sink;

watering flowers;

helping mom deliver shopping from the store;

cleaning things and shoes in place;

bed making;

cleaning books and CDs;

table setting;

pet feeding;

help in the garden;

assistance in washing dishes;

wiping dust;

making sandwiches;

hanging clean linen;

Helping parents with food preparation

assistance in cleaning the apartment;

assistance with washing the car.

If the child is entrusted with housework, then the parents must clearly follow the principle: never do for him what he is able to do for himself.

Responsibilities of a child at home: what can be entrusted to a child of 8-10 years old?

Should parents burden their children with household chores? There is a point of view that this shortens the period of carefree childhood. Many parents are convinced that their children have enough study loads.

Nevertheless, family psychologists argue that the issue of the child's responsibilities at home must be resolved. Fulfilling them, the child will feel urgently needed by close people who are able to make a personal contribution to the well-being of the family. Children who responsibly perform the assigned work around the house, as a rule, study better, interact better with teachers. Without such training, the guys become consumers and seek only to receive in the future, without offering anything in return.

Even more dangerous is the situation when family methods of upbringing give children the feeling that, because of their exclusivity, everyone should serve them. Adults are able to come up with many things that a child can do with great benefit for the family. If the situation is such that parents, who make a lot of efforts, fail to accustom the child to work, it makes sense to visit a psychologist.

Many send their children to music schools, sports sections, create all the conditions for their child to develop comprehensively. But some mothers and fathers protect their children from housework. Perhaps they think that it is not so important, or maybe they do not want to argue with a child who flatly refuses to wash the dishes or tidy up the room.

Today we will talk about why it is very important for a child to do housework.

In the course of the study, which was conducted by Braun Research last fall, 1,001 people were interviewed (only the adult population was included in the sample). The results of the survey were as follows: 82% of respondents noted that they regularly did housework as children, and only 28% of people reported that their own children had household chores.

Parents today want their children to spend time doing things that will contribute to their success in the future. But, ironically, many parents have stopped putting their children in charge of housework, although its benefits have been proven repeatedly.

Richard Rend, psychologist

Decades of research have shown that having a list of required chores around the house has a beneficial effect on children's studies, their psyche, and also in the future it will benefit their careers.

According to a study by Marty Rossman, professor emeritus at the University of Minnesota, if you teach your child to do housework from an early age, he will feel independent, responsible and self-confident.

The essence of the study is as follows: 84 children were selected, the study was conducted over three periods of the life of these people. The first study was conducted at preschool age, the second when the children were 10–15 years old, and the third when they were 20–25 years old. The results of the study showed that children who started doing housework at the age of three or four had warmer relationships with family and friends, they were more successful at school and university. They also began to move up the corporate ladder at a much faster rate than those who did not have household chores and those who did not begin household chores until adolescence.

Household responsibilities teach children to be empathetic, responsive, and caring for others, says Richard Weisbord, a psychologist at Harvard Business School. In a study published last year, he and his team surveyed 10,000 schoolchildren and college students. The children had to determine which of the following they value more: achievements, happiness, or caring for others.

Nearly 80% of respondents preferred achievement and happiness to caring for others. However, the results of the study also showed that people more often associate with happiness not major achievements, but strong and trusting relationships with other people. Richard Weisbord believes that today there is an imbalance of values ​​and the best way to return to the right track is to teach children kindness from childhood, as well as to form in them the responsibility and desire to help others, imputing household duties to them.

The next time your child refuses to do chores around the house on the pretext that he has to do homework, resist the temptation to agree to the child's persuasion and release him from housework. When school assignments compete with household chores and you opt for the former, you are sending your child the message that grades and personal achievement are more important than caring for others. It may seem insignificant to you now, but over time you will realize that such behavior was wrong.

Madeleine Levin, psychologist, author of Teach Your Children Right

Here are some tips to help you motivate your kids to do housework:

Watch what you say. According to a study conducted last year, it was found that if you thank your child for being a good helper, and not just say “thank you for helping”, then his desire to do housework will increase significantly. Thus, you increase the self-esteem of the child, he feels like a person who is useful and important to others.

Make a household schedule. Include household chores in your child's schedule along with music or sports activities. So your child will be able to plan his time and learn to order.

Turn it into a game. All children love games. Make household chores a game, come up with different levels of chores for your child to achieve. For example, for a start, he can lay out things, and after a while he will get the right to use a washing machine.

Do not give your child money for helping you around the house. Psychologists believe that a monetary reward can lead to a decrease in a child's motivation, since an altruistic impulse in this case turns into a business deal.

Remember that the nature of the chores matters. If you do not want to raise an egoist, then the household tasks that you give your child should be such that they benefit the whole family. That's right: "We need to dust the living room and wash the dishes after dinner." Incorrect: "Clean up your room and wash your socks."

Forget the phrase "do the housework". Remember that you don't have to order. Instead of saying, "Do your housework," say, "Let's do our housework." In this way, you will emphasize that household chores are not only a routine duty, but also a way to take care of all family members.

Don't associate housework with negativity. Do not use housework as a punishment for wrongdoing. When you discuss household chores with your child, including those you do yourself, try to talk about them in a positive or at least neutral way. If you constantly complain about the fact that you have to wash the dishes, believe me, the child will follow your example and begin to grumble too.

Does your child have household chores?

Should children be given responsibilities? Of course, they help the full, adequate formation of personality. The assignment and successful fulfillment of any duties exalts the child in his own eyes. Gradually, the baby learns to interact with others and begins to consider himself as a person who can help.

The duties of a child and an adult are not comparable. They are much easier. The duties of the baby can be interpreted, rather, as all possible help around the house. Instructions must be age appropriate. Otherwise, you can cause resentment, anger, aggression, or a sense of his own inferiority.

At the same time, you should not completely protect the child from household chores, hoping that he will still have enough time to learn everything. So you run the risk of raising a person unprepared for independent life. Who better to teach him and turn a blind eye to mistakes, if not his parents?

Based on your own expectations and skills of the child, you can give him a variety of tasks. However, certain duties must be introduced into his life gradually. Talk to the baby and decide together what her feasible contribution will be.

It is advisable to give her the opportunity to choose things for herself. Show her if the baby does not understand exactly how to do this. However, never do it for her.

Designate the quality criteria by which the quality of its work will be evaluated in the future. Agree deadlines. Report the consequences that come into effect after failure to complete instructions.

Do not set too high limits for the baby. Perhaps you are a perfectionist and always strive for perfection. The child is not yet endowed with the skills and abilities of an adult, so do not set standards that are unattainable for him. Otherwise, he will not want to help anymore.

Periodically change the scope of his duties so that the child does not get bored with monotonous work. Although, some can be firmly introduced into his life, for example, collecting his toys or taking care of animals. Also, don't overload it with too many to-do lists.

According to the degree of duration, duties can be divided into permanent and situational cases. Permanent duties are understood as those that a child is awarded from a certain age on an ongoing basis, for example, the ability to dress independently, the duty to respect adults. Situational cases are short-lived. These are small tasks that parents can give to their child.

How to teach a child to work

The kid always watches the actions of adults. By their example, he gradually learns to act in one way or another in various situations. The time comes and he has a strong desire to do something on his own. This makes him feel big. This is a good time for a soft, unobtrusive introduction to work. A few recommendations:

1. If a child refuses your order, do not get angry and do not force him. Better talk to him about why he doesn't want to. Explain why this needs to be done.
2. The kid will feel the importance of his help, and want to provide it once again if your requests are not voiced in an orderly tone. Instead of saying “do it now,” say “could you?”
3. Praise the child for his efforts and the desire to do something. Let at first it does not turn out the way you would like. Words of approval are vital to building a positive self-image.
4. Sometimes, if he really deserves it, you can encourage him, but in no case with money. He will begin to think that his parents owe him money to do household chores. Help will no longer be selfless.
5. With the introduction of new duties, it is necessary to expand the field of his freedom. Let's say he can go to bed a little later or play a little more.
6. Doing things themselves can be turned into an interesting game. Your imagination will tell you how to do it.

What is under the power of children of different ages

A 3 year old kid is capable:

• put toys away
• take spoons, forks, napkins, plates to the table;
• put books and magazines on the shelves;
• clean your place at the table after eating;
• possess elementary hygiene skills (for example, wash);
• undress and dress independently with the participation of adults.

Child 4 years old is ready:

• set the table, carry good plates;
• help with the purchase of groceries;
• help clean up the yard
• feed domestic animals;
• spread and make the bed;
• help wash dishes
• wipe dust on furniture;
• put food on plates;
• prepare cold breakfasts (pour cereal);
• butter bread;
• get mail from the box;
• participate in the preparation of a simple dessert;
• hang things to dry;
• fold clothes.

The five-year-old can be entrusted with:

• help prepare food according to the recipe (add ingredients);
• to clean the room;
• prepare a sandwich or a simple breakfast for yourself;
• dress yourself, fold clothes;
• clean the toilet, sink, bathroom;
• sort and clean washed laundry;
• clean mirrors;
• participate in car washing;
• pay for small purchases;
• receive phone calls;
• taking out the trash.

A six-year-old can already:

• dress according to the weather;
• vacuum the carpet;
• collect breakfast for school;
• water the flowers;
• clean vegetables;
• weed the grass;
• walk pets;
• help clean the car
• make sure the trash is taken out.

The seven-year-old can:

• clean up the yard
• take care of your bike
• water the garden;
• carry shopping bags;
• wash pets;
• to iron clothes.

A child of 8, 9 years old can be offered:

• wash floors;
• wash the clothes;
• sew up holes, sew on buttons;
• make simple meals;
• clean up after pets;
• paint;
• participate in washing the refrigerator;
• bathe and feed their younger brothers and sisters;
• clean the house.

At 9, 10 years old, a child can be asked:

• change bed linen;
• load and turn on the machine, pour in the powder;
• make purchases on the list;
• cook meals for the whole family;
• wash the car.

At 10, 11 years old, the child is ready to earn extra money on his own, plus all of the above.

Child 11, 12 can:

• clean the pool
• take care of the garden;
• help dad, do men's work;
• clean the oven and hob.

The introduction of duties into a child's life must be combined with the granting of certain rights. Their implementation should not depend on the mood of others. Otherwise, the child will become angry, there will be a desire for revenge, and his zeal for cooperation will decrease.

Is it any wonder that he also does not want to carry out your instructions?

Dear blog readers, and what duties does your child perform in the family, leave comments or reviews below. Someone will find this very useful!

Whether it is necessary to burden the child with household chores is an ambiguous question for many parents. On the one hand, not so long ago, by the age of 7, a child was already so independent that he could be considered a full-fledged assistant in the family (go to the store, clean the apartment, and sit with younger children), and such upbringing was in the order of things. On the other hand, the current trend to give a child a carefree childhood is a kind of trend that seems to be followed. Helping a child around the house is often seen as the exploitation of child labor, something that interferes with the full flow of childhood.

Of course, the life of a modern child is often very full of various circles and sections. And the parents believe that it will be too much to impose any more duties on him. Yes, and it is much easier to do all the necessary things in the household on your own, without the awkward attempts of the child to help.

However, does this approach give a positive result? Unfortunately, not always. Protecting a child from household chores leads to a delay in his social and personal development. Such children, growing up, often suffer from increased egocentrism, inadequate self-esteem and dissatisfaction with the quality of their lives. After all, without learning in childhood the significance of labor and help, the child cannot adequately assess the conditions created for him in the family, and does not realize the happiness of his childhood.

3 advantages of labor education of a child

Development of self-respect. Psychological studies show that children who perform certain household duties feel necessary and significant in the family, therefore they have an adequately high self-esteem, are not afraid of difficulties and are ready to cooperate with others.

Self-discipline. Household duties of the child are taught to calculate their strength. First, an adult helps him, consistently giving the baby feasible tasks, and then he himself learns to divide the big task facing him into small, but quite doable steps. For example, you need to water the flowers. To do this, pour water into the jar, let it settle, then take the jar and carefully water the flowers.

Preparation for school. The helper child comes to school age prepared for the need not only to receive something from others, but also to make an effort to achieve a result. All the victories of the kid (self-tied shoelaces, peeled potatoes, washed plate) are necessary for him to prove to himself and to everyone that he is capable of much.

The child helps around the house: how to distribute responsibilities?

Only the parents themselves, relying on the individual characteristics of the child and the living conditions of the family, will best be able to come up with things that the baby will do with pleasure. However, there are some tips for adults in this matter.

1 year. "I'm looking." Toddlers begin to show an active interest in what their parents do at home, already after a year, when they have the physical ability to move independently. At this age, they are happy to play with the pans they have obtained, study the household appliances that have come across, copy the actions of their mother with rags and napkins.

2–3 years. "I want to help!" Children are already insistently asking to be allowed to do housework. What can be entrusted to the baby at this age? Self-service duties: wash, brush teeth, undress and dress (at least in general terms), put clothes on your shelf, etc. Tidying up: put your toys back in place, collect crumbs from the table with a rag. To increase the interest of the crumbs in household chores, mom can bring an element of the game into any business. For example, a crane made of children's hands will help to put the toys in their places, and during the evening washing, the clean fairy will come to visit.

4 years. "I can do a lot!" The child is already able to cope with real things: help pick up a grocery basket in the supermarket, load the washing machine, hang and remove clothes from the dryer, wipe the dust, etc. Always praise the baby and thank him for his help.

5 years. "Can I help you tomorrow?" At this age, a child can become a full-fledged assistant to an adult in all household chores, so parents can only choose the circle of his activities. However, it is during this period that children often wake up unwillingness to fulfill their duties. In this case, it would be useful to use more stringent methods of education, that is, to require the fulfillment of duties. The main thing is that such an approach should still be applied briefly and situationally.

Labor education of a child: the main mistakes of parents

Unfortunately, a situation often arises when parents seem to be ready to entrust the performance of any household duties to a child, but he is not eager to help. But even in such a situation, the reasons for the behavior of the baby are more dependent on the parents themselves, so they should be recognized in time.

- Lack of a positive reaction to the efforts of the baby. The first attempts of the baby to help mom and dad are often clumsy and lead to even more trouble, so parents often dismiss his efforts or reproach him for his negligence and the consequences received from help. And then the child loses the desire to offer his help, because instead of approval, he is afraid to receive criticism again.

- There are no living conditions. It is unlikely that the baby will retain the desire and initiative to help around the house if he physically requires the intervention of an adult to perform certain actions. For example, a broom and a dustpan are too large and are stored in an inaccessible place, there are no coasters or stools, toys are on the top shelves of the rack. Sometimes it is enough to make the house comfortable for the child, so that he feels like a master in it and shows responsibility for order.

- Lack of clear household chores for the child. Constancy is necessary for young children, it is the basis of their safety and comfort. Therefore, if parents irregularly and unexpectedly for the child remember that he needs to put away toys or take dirty dishes to the sink, the baby will resist.

- Misperception of responsibilities. Very often, work, especially domestic, domestic, is presented by adults from the negative side, as something forced and uninteresting. Therefore, the child develops an idea of ​​household duties as a punishment rather than a privilege. Parents themselves need to fall in love with household chores so that the baby is happy to join them.

- Feelings of guilt in parents. It happens that parents, due to their employment, feel guilty before the baby, so they are not internally sure that they have the right to burden him with household chores. A child from infancy is a wonderful manipulator, subtly feeling the weaknesses of his parents and skillfully using them. Therefore, adults themselves must first gain confidence in the correctness of their requirements, so that the baby can adequately perceive them.

The best thing that parents can do for their baby is to see in him a personality, complete and independent, and create conditions for him to feel needed and significant.

Is your toddler easily distracted and forgets about his responsibilities? In this case, it is worth providing for him some noticeable reminder, for example, a multi-colored chamomile, where each petal is painted and glued after completing a particular task, or a piggy bank with duty tokens (colored paper circles). After completing his work, the kid can receive a token and throw it into the piggy bank. If in the evening all 3 (5, 8, etc.) tokens are in such a piggy bank, the child can receive a small reward - for example, a favorite bedtime story.

The child should have household chores - this statement does not cause controversy among parents. But the answer to the question: what should be the household duties - is no longer so unambiguous. For some parents, the child's household chores center on the child's own needs: looking after their own clothes, packing their things and toys. For others, the child's household chores fit into the general context of the family's household chores and are aimed at helping mom or dad. Of course, when assigning responsibilities to a child, it is necessary to take into account his age characteristics and capabilities. It is important to understand what tasks can be entrusted to the child, to what extent, how regularly they should be performed. If there is no clear representation of children's duties in the head of the parent, they are unlikely to be regularly performed in practice.

What are children's household chores?

This question often seems redundant to parents. Household duties? How for what? This is so understandable. Meanwhile, unfortunately, the answer is not as simple as it seems at first. There are various possible answers, let's look at some of them:

1. Responsibilities are needed because they are needed. The child must be taught to be neat and hardworking.
With such an approach to duties, they easily turn into some kind of abstract sacred action, valuable in itself, having almost no practical significance, because when external coercion disappears, the work ceases to be done. In this sense, the statement of a student who came to her parents' home for the holidays is noteworthy: Parents do not make their bed! As soon as my sister and I parted ways, the beds at home stopped being made. As a child, you couldn't leave the house without making your bed. It turns out that the parents themselves did not really want this. They made their bed for us.

2. By doing some household chores, the child learns to plan, learns to set goals and develop certain skills that help achieve these goals. After some time, the child realizes that things put in place save a lot of time spent looking for them.

3. Responsibilities teach the child to calculate his strength.
First, when giving instructions, an adult calculates the strength of the child. If it is necessary to put things in order in the nursery, then for this it is necessary to break the huge and complex task before him into many subtasks. So, you don’t need to tidy up the room, but collect the cubes here, so, it’s done, then we put the cars here, so, now we put the books here ... etc.

4. Homework teaches the child self-discipline. By doing household chores, the child learns to create a working mood, inspiration, and organizes himself.

5. The appearance of the child's own responsibilities makes him understand that he is an important member of his family, as he makes a feasible contribution to her life. Children need faith in their need in the family and are ready to help her with all the forces they have.

6. A child, doing household chores, gets an idea of ​​​​life as a cyclical process.

How to delegate household chores?

Many parents remember that wonderful moment when the child wanted to help his mother in everything. With children, this usually happens between the ages of two and three. Wash the floor? Great! Give me a rag! Vacuuming? Amazing! I'll roll the vacuum cleaner! Wash clothes? Wonderful! I will put it in the machine. However, as practice shows, over the years, this childish enthusiasm disappears. Usually this happens because the interest of the child is confronted by the opposition of the mother (sometimes the father), who is not ready to give the child so much independence. Wash the floor? You will turn the bucket over, you will arrange a flood here! Vacuuming? You burn the vacuum cleaner! Wash? You mix light and dark! No, I'm better off on my own.

After some time, the mother sees that the child is already quite capable of washing the floor, vacuuming the apartment, and washing ... But the child has no interest in household chores, moreover, he even shows hostility. You can often hear such statements of saddened mothers: Wow, at the age of three it was impossible to pull a rag out of your hands, but now, on the contrary, you can’t hand it over ...
Of course, it is wonderful if the child's interest in household chores is developed and maintained. However, this is not always the case. What needs to be done in order to transfer authority to the child?

First, it is important to reconsider your attitude to household chores. If it regularly sounds that mom hates to take out the garbage, because you need to go and guard the garbage truck, and in general, let the son do it now, big already! In this case, it is useless to expect enthusiasm from the child. It is necessary to emphasize the importance of the work performed for the family, a certain amount of the game here also does not hurt: what will happen to the apartment if the garbage is not taken out for a month, and if it is a year?

Secondly, you need to thank the child, emphasize how important and significant what he does for the family.

Thirdly, doing household chores does not have to be a chore. Homework can be interesting. They can be interesting in themselves, as well as in relation to them as exciting events.
Children, as a rule, are attracted to those household chores that adults themselves like. For example, if a mother loves to bake, then the daughter will offer her help to her mother with great desire, and then she will master the secrets of baking herself.

The following tips can help make homework fun for your child:

You can invite your child to change household roles with other family members from time to time. It is useful, firstly, to get acquainted with other types of work, perhaps more complex than standing assignments. Secondly, it is instructive to experience, for example, my mother's daily workload. This technique will also contribute to the rallying of the family team and will significantly expand the child's competence in terms of solving everyday issues.

Consider how you can bring creativity into your homework. For example, entrust your son or daughter with daily salad preparation. Provide them with ready-made recipes, but encourage independent culinary research. Or invite a child who runs daily to the store for bread to notice something new, unusual every time on the way home.

Boys should be entrusted with household chores that use a variety of appliances, including kitchen ones. Perhaps they themselves will want to offer technical solutions to facilitate everyday work. Or come up with a new kitchen appliance.

The system of double standards that often exists in families can significantly slow down the process of immersing a child in the world of household chores.

My husband and I can't decide what to do in this situation. Let's say the child did something wrong, like throwing dirty socks in the middle of the room. To the remark, he calmly replies, "Dad does it too." What to say to the child in such cases? Say dad is wrong? But it also undermines parental authority. Do not engage in provocative actions? But still we are people, without this it will not work.

What can be the answer to such a parenting question? After all, it is absolutely true that the child will imitate the father, and that we are all human and have the right to make mistakes. Therefore, if dad fails to organize himself (learn to put his socks in place), then why not at this moment the child find out that dad is an ordinary person, not very organized at the same time. Nothing bad will happen to the authority of the father (if the father is, in principle, at his best) if he, in response to the child’s remark, says: “Yes, you know, I sometimes do this, but I think that mom is right and it’s better for you and me to listen to her and collect your socks. At home then it will be much cleaner. We, strong men, will help our beloved mother to keep the house in order. "

However, if at home there are some rules for the child, others for the mother, and for the father there are no rules at all, because he is tired, it is unlikely that the child will readily perform the tasks assigned to him. Thus, it is quite possible to make sure that the child knows exactly what he has to do around the house today, to do it on his own, without reminders, even with pleasure. It is important to decide what exactly you want from the child. To do this, you need to build a working system, having thought through the goals, making the work process interesting, not forgetting about a personal example, and, of course, have the patience to debug this mechanism, making it work like clockwork.